A Tale of Confusion

A Tale of Confusion 

Lemons are yellow. Classically so. Everyone knows it, c'mon. 

Okay now, you better sit down. I won't be held liable if what I say makes you wobbly and gravity cracks your noggin. 

Listen here: in Taiwan, lemons are green! Don't ask me why, I dunno. If I presented one now, you'd likely die on your sword of insisting it be a lime. In fact it looks like a lime, feels like one, probably even sounds like one. But believe me you, that's no more a lime than a doll is a daisy. Friend, this here's a lemon, and that's that.

Except when it's not! Little much frazzles me, these nerves fray only for the cray, but beware such as one today! For my trip to the market, just now returned, has me upsidedown six ways to Sunday. 

Now, if instead you wanted to procure a bag of oranges, you'd quite instinctively be pulled to those round fruity spheres that are, ever so tellingly, ORANGE! But if you lived in Taiwan, you better pull up your britches because it ain't that easy son!

I can't say it any clearer, oranges ain't orange, anymore than lemons ain't yellow. They're green and green until they're just plain mean. And if you want one, well you better buck up little buddy because chances are you've actually got the other. 

And don't expect no consolation from your old lady, no your exasperated mea culpa won't do. Back to the store for you to Sherlock Holmes some lemons before it's too late. 

And don't forget, lest that green-costumed devil double cross you and deliver direct to those emerald flames----I say don't forget, in Taiwan grapefruit can be green, too. Please and envy not, for no hue is true in these tangled weeds of citrus tomfoolery!